Research shows that eating meals together increases the quality of relationships, improves communication, saves money, leads to healthier habits and several other benefits of a family dinner. A family meal does not have to be dinner or just include family. Here are some ways to get started hosting your meaningful family mealtime.
Who: Gather family and/or close friends. Sometime role models come best from people outside the family. Don’t limit your family meal. Invite close friends, relatives even neighbors or a friend of the children over to help foster relationships.
What: Consume food in a meaningful, deliberate way, not just eating as quickly as you can to rush to the next activity, but eating while fully being present with others. Take time to inquire about each other’s days. Start conversation with open-ended positive questions. Try, what was good about your day? What fun thing did you learn today? What are you looking forward to tomorrow? Keeping the conversation upbeat and positive makes this an activity to look forward to. Keep tough family matters and discipline for a later time. Turn off your devices to limit distraction and add to a sense of togetherness. I often suggest if a person is that important to chat with over mealtime next time invite them to the meal.
Why: Eating a meal together is a ritual that foster healthy relationships. See the 8 Benefits of sharing a family meal. Enjoy this time to pause from the daily activity and connect with loved ones. Generally, people who participate in family or group mealtimes are healthier and happier than those who eat alone.
Where: A meal can take place anywhere. Don’t let the idea of it looking a certain way stop you from taking part in the meal. Typically, it would take place in a home at a designated table where participants are all sitting together and distractions can be limited. This could also take place at a park sitting outside or even at a restaurant, as long as the participants are engaged with each other and not distracted by other events or devices.
When: Rarely does a family sit together for every meal. Most people think of meal time as the evening meal. You should know that it can look different and family or group meals can take place at breakfast and lunch as well. Set a goal to eat as a family 3-5 times per week and try getting lunch with a group of friends 1 time per week rather than eating alone. Notice the effect it has on your mood and relationships.
How: Make a commitment to start small and value your health and relationships. Identify what days and times work best for everyone’s schedules, knowing that everyone may have to give a little to make this work, and see the benefits. Be clear about what times are family mealtimes, and when to be home. Don’t force it, but invite others to participate. Make it clear that for the mealtime, devices are not welcome and conversation is. Invite others to participate in preparing food, setting the table, cleaning up and planning meals. When each person has a role to play and can contribute, it is more enjoyable for everybody and less work for you.
Remember that the food itself is less important than the act of joining people together. It is more about connection rather than the food. The food can be as simple as sandwiches, pizza or leftovers, a new recipe or a family favorite; even take-out counts. Be a good role model, set examples for manners and how to treat others. Practice eating slowly to take part in conversation, help digestion and simply enjoy the meal. Simple things like setting the table, lighting a candle or giving thanks all add to the ritual of making the meal an event, a dedicated time to relax and enjoy togetherness while everything else can wait for a few moments.
